1 September, 2011
Talking with Teens about Wealth: Capabilities of Successful Heirs
It takes no talent to inherit money, but learning how to become a successful heir requires special capabilities. One of the best things wealthy parents can do to prepare their teenage children is to engage them in conversations well ahead of their having serious money at their disposal. Having friends and knowing how to confidently handle relationships is crucial for teens, so talking about wealth and friendship is a good place to start. One great way to launch such a conversation is with a clip from the movie Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps and a few opening questions: Who are examples of successful heirs? When having wealth distorts how friends see them, how do they manage their close relationships to keep them good?
In the film, Gordon Gekko is a fast moving tycoon and an absent parent who did one thing right. He didn’t give his daughter Winnie too much too soon. By age 24, she has her college degree, a job she loves, career goals and a smart boyfriend, Jake. But she is also an unprepared heir, unaware of her trust fund and how it will change her life. In one scene, Jake has lunch with Gordon and learns that Winnie has a $10M trust that distributes at age 25. By the time Jake has gotten home to tell Winnie the good news, he already has a plan for ‘their’ money. Winnie appears frozen as Jake soothes: “This plan can’t fail, and you have nothing to worry about.”
Showing this clip at a family meeting, stop and ask: “So, is Winnie vulnerable? If so,how? What does she stand to lose, if she doesn’t handle things well with Jake?” In the movie, she loses her money, her boyfriend, and suffers damaged friendships, too. But, this is Hollywood, so in the end she gets them all back. For teens watching this, a good follow-up question is: “How would a well-prepared heir have handled this situation? What do you wish Winnie could have told Jake? What could she say to set some limits… and maybe teach him something, so he might be a respectful boyfriend and perhaps become a better mate?
One group of teens I know came up with these suggested lines for Winnie:
“Jake, I love you, but no… and you have some things to learn. “
“That is family money entrusted to me for a purpose, and I already have plans for it.”
“This is not how I go about making decisions on loans or investments. It is not how my family would go about it either. “
“I know you are excited, but you are not thinking about me and what I might want, or how I handle things. Actually, I have goals for this and advisors with more experience.”
Statements like these reflect levels of preparation well beyond that of the movie character. These lines reveal an understanding of the foundations for being wise with wealth. They also suggest that it helps to learn about how the family makes money decisions, and about setting one’s own long-term goals and having experienced advisors puts a young heir in a more confident and capable position. Many young heirs don’t have the experience to come up with such lines on their own, but exercises that let them try their own words and hear examples like these can be powerful, helping them imagine what they might say someday to set protective boundaries, and take positive initiative in relationships.
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